The role of women.....

Is a sticky subject. It’s all too easy to offend. If we praise and enthuse about stay at home mums then those that work get prickly. If we praise and enthuse about those who go out to work and, seemingly, 'have it all' then those who stay at home feel undervalued. As a Christian, I believe the Bible is my rule for faith and life. What does the bible say about the role of women? Proverbs 31 is one of my favourite passages; this is what it says - 

"Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands. She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar. She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens. She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard. She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms. She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night. She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff. She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy. She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet. She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple. Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land. She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant. Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come. She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness. She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness. Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her. Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all. Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates."

What a high standard! And one about much is written, I don't intend to add to what is already available. Well, not much anyway!! In Titus 2 it says -

"The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed."

Many people are of the opinion that these verses, together with Genesis 2:18 which says - 

"And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him." 

actually demean women. I would venture to say that those people haven't read the verses properly or in context, or even that they don't really understand what they have read.
The word 'help meet' for example, this means someone suitable to keep Adam company, a perfect fit - and of course, Eve was perfect since she was provided for Adam by the LORD Himself. How important it must be then for us to seek the LORD's will when we are waiting for our future spouse.

In light of these verses you can imagine my irritation when, this morning,  I heard a woman vicar on the BBC News promoting the need for women bishop’s within the Church of England (I am not clear whether this means within the world wide Anglican church and what the brethren on the African continent think to this). As part of this woman’s argument in favour of women bishops she stated that men think that women in the church are fit only for cleaning and flower arranging. It seems to me that if this what the men in this Woman Vicar’s church believe then the fault lies with her – she should be teaching what the bible says about the role of men and women – of course if she did that then she would soon discover that her role as a vicar goes against the Word of God. Hmm. Catch 22. 

Many people don’t realise that actually a truly godly man is instructed to love his wife as Christ loved the church – since Christ laid down His life for us, that is, in my opinion, a tall order. Actually, one of the many things I love about the bible – and why I believe it to be the Word of God – is how it addresses husbands and wives. Husbands are instructed to love their wives sacrificially and romantically, whilst women are instructed to love, respect and honour their husbands – and in my limited experience, this is exactly what both men and women want from their partner.

It seems to me that if the church – by which I mean the Church of England, I know that many non-conformist churches already do this – were teaching their parishioners the truths of the bible they would soon see that there is no need for ‘new things’ – the bible talks much about ‘old ways/paths’ – because actually the bible is sufficient for all of us and for all of our needs. It is interesting to me that the roles of men and women have become so blurred that it is now having a negative effect on society as a whole. Read almost any research which shows, time and again, that women are happier at home, that children thrive better where mums are at home, many girls express the wish that they could aspire to be a wife and mother rather than have the big career that is generally expected of them. Men need to be men – they need the responsibility that comes of providing for a wife and children, nowadays many men are not ready to provide for a family until their late twenties – but in fact they should be ready to face that responsibility much earlier. Is it right to encourage young people to take gap years and then mire themselves in thousands of pounds of debt so that even when they want to marry they are simply not mature enough either financially, spiritually or in their character. It seems to me that our society is becoming so materialistic that it is assumed that both parents must work in order to provide their children with ‘everything’ – but, again, the research shows that children are happiest when their parents give of themselves. If we stopped focusing on what we imagine we need to have rather than on what is best for our family then we will find that it isn’t necessary for women to work long hours away from the home – this would also mean that there are more jobs for men. 

Read the passage from Proverbs 31 (above) – this is a highly talented, highly successful, highly respected woman who brings honour to her husband as well as to herself. Which woman wouldn’t want that? The woman in Proverbs 31 makes a great role model for our daughters – what a pity that those women who think they are called to teach in the church don’t make it their focus – and complement that teaching with what it means to be a truly godly man who takes responsibility for his family and who understands the value of hard work and sacrifice (the bible teaches that if we don’t work then we don’t eat – an old fashioned adage that flies in the face of our ‘I want it all and I want it now society.

Those who feel that being a housewife should be preceded by the word ‘only’ should consider what a keeper at home actually does – yes, it may well be repetitive and even boring at times, but, isn’t every job? Creating a home takes time, love and skill, add to that the responsibility of raising children and I think it is safe to say that being ‘only a housewife’ is one of the most demanding, and necessary, jobs available.

Women bishops? Pah.

*waves goodby*

A Racial Divide?

So, I have been hearing, and seeing, a lot about the racial divide so prevalent in today's USA. Apparently. The election coverage, even here in the UK, has focused on how 'The Whites' voted for Romney whilst 'The African Americans' and 'The Hispanics' voted for Obama.

I realise that I maybe appear naive in the extreme - but this idea of voting along racial lines is something new and quite foreign to me. I watched a programme recently on the BBC entitled Family Guys: What Sitcoms Say About America Now (the link is to an article - I don't think the programme is still available even on iPlayer). The programme was actually very interesting - and, for me, more than a little shocking. The reason? I never knew that African Americans have their own shows! Apparently The Cosby Show is the last sitcom that crossed the viewing racial divide - appealing to both whites and African Americans. Friends - one of my own personal favourites - has no black characters, so, apparently, an African American version was created for the black community (I am assuming there are 'Black' TV channels - I may be wrong). The commentator also remarked that inter-racial romances are still 'edgy' - he cited Happy Endings which has a mixed race couple who kiss on screen - this is, evidently, still something to be carefully considered before a programme is aired.

Seriously? It's 2012 people - are there really people out there who do or don't watched TV shows because of their racial dynamic? Are there people out there who object to seeing a mixed race couple kiss on screen? I find it difficult believe that these types of attitudes really exist - surely the programme makers are exaggerating? In a country such as the US which, as I understand it, is a country which can truly be described as racially diverse how can there be such division? And does it extend to every day life?

Another programme on prior to the American election was aired on Channel 4, The American Road Trip: Obama's Story  this programme concentrated on the so-called 'swing states' and featured respected journalist Matt Frei talking to middle America - he commented, at one point, quietly and whilst in his car 'will this election be decided on race' (my paraphrase).

However disturbing I found these two programmes what I found online when I googled 'racial divide in the US' was even more worrying - article after article outlining incidences of disparities apparently based on race. I looked at this one on the Reuters website that deals with education - but this is really the tip of the iceberg.

When telling my mum, who has traveled extensively in the US in her camper van, about the two programmes I had watched my disbelief was compounded further by some of her experiences during those travels -

• When in the Southern states she noticed that Black Americans frequently failed to make eye contact with her, or smile - even in stores unless she made the first move
• When she traveled to DC by train and sat with a black lady the white lady at the same table turned her back on the black lady and excluded her from the conversation. On the same trip a white man who had been deep in conversation with my mum walked away mid-sentence when he realised the black lady was sitting with her.
• When mum visited the Martin Luther King museum she was the only white face there
• Many Americans had no concept of life without segregation even in their history - in the UK we have never had separate water fountains or public bathrooms for example

I have heard people talk about 'white pubs' and 'black pubs' in Essex - but I assumed these were the result of location, it is well known that many minorities tend to live in clusters, particularly those who have only recently arrived. My own in-laws tend to mix only with other Turkish families - the grandchildren are, no doubt, becoming more integrated. But surely this kind of segregation does not extend into wider society?

Anyway, this is something I have been thinking about for quite a while and I confess I am no nearer understanding it or dealing with it. I can not understand why anyone, black, white or hispanic, would be offended by a mixed race couple on TV, I don't understand why any general programme would be specifically  targeted at a particular racial group, (I know that some programming is culture/religion/or race specific - I suppose I am thinking more about entertainment programmes).

Then I realised something - on my Facebook account, used for playing the games, I have lots of friends from all around the world including the US - I have met them through game forums etc. and guess what? None of them are Black! Some are, I think, Hispanic, but I have no Facebook friends who are black American! I shocked myself! Surely African Americans play Farmville and use the forums? What I don't like is how this new information has changed my worldview - I have started to notice mixed race couples and black characters when watching TV, and I never did this before - to me race is just not an issue, and I don't know why that is? Am I just naive? Or Stupid? I should say that I do have black brits on my FB.

I also like watching programmes about prison - documentaries. The racial divide is clear to see in this kind of programming since there are just so many African Americans in American Prisons - what I never knew is that this divide extended into wider society.

*sadly waves goodbye*

My first Mind Map

Actually, it probably isn't my first - I just didn't know what a mind map was before!! I did this in rough first with parchment and quill pen and paper and then completely outdid myself and transferred it to the computer - then I needed a teenager to take a photo so that I could put it on here - learning how to do that is a step too far I fear!

I thought finding something out about Christopher Marlowe would serve me well as I read Dr Faustus. Actually it was very interesting - who knew the 16th Century English Secret Service was the best in Europe with agents across the whole continent as far as Turkiye.

So, that's me for the evening. I'm A Celeb calls.

*waves goodbye*

getting lazy 19.7.06

its too hot to think, thank goodness i live at the seaside and there is a nice cool breeze, we have had a lot of visitors, i am the delivery driver so don't have time tonight to write a nice post about my sisters graduation or complain about lobster red holidaymakers taking up the whole pavement in town or aisle in tesco....so here is a listy about blogging.

What made you start blogging?
not sure, i had some stuff going on surrounding my church, it seemed like a good place to write my thoughts down and try to get them in order. its also a bit of my own space - homeschooling means i get little time to myself.

How many posts do you write a day?
well, i used to try for one, but lately i have been a bit lax, hope things will get back on track soon.

Do you think people read your blog? If so why?
no. i think my sisters do, and maybe when it comes up on the 'recently posted' list.

What musical style would you describe your blog?
Gospel with a little bit of country angst

Do you read other blogs often?
yes, i think i read more than i write.

What attracts you to other blogs?
not sure, i like newsy blogs, funny blogs, the kind that tell a bit about a person and their interests/worldview. i also like the trivia kind.

What blog title would make you read a new persons blog?
not sure about that either, some titles seem really random, some seem very suitable, its difficult to judge a blog by its name.

What title would make you steer clear of another persons blog?
rudeness, bad language, too much blasphemy.

Do you ever discover new Bloggers because they are friends of bloggers you know already?
yes. there are some bloggers i look at regularly even though they are not on my friends list, then i follow their friends too if i have some time to kill, the most frustrating thing is finding a good new blog and then not being able to get back there.....

As a percentage, how addicted are you to blogging?
fairly low but only because i am so busy in the real world, about 30 per cent maybe, if i had more time i guess it would be more like 70 per cent.

Back to Education.........

So, I am 51 years old - I know, shocking! Don't feel it mind you. Life has been a bit up and down in the last few years - to say the least. I now find myself with a married daughter and a grown up son - neither of whom 'need' me anymore, well, not like they used to at any rate. Of course my son still requires waiting upon hand and foot as well as his laundry doing!

Anyway, one of the best things to do, in my humble opinion, is read. I love reading and have a whole pile of books that I have been saving for just such a time as this. However I feel I have lost my way in the last few years and am in danger of turning into a blob - so, after years of ruminating and procrastinating I have finally bitten the bullet and registered for a course with the Open University. Yes dear reader, this old dog is going to learn new tricks and further her education. My hope is to complete a BA Open Degree - this allows me to choose my own modules, in truth I feel I need something relatively simple to ease myself back into learning. My first module, entitled Arts Past and Present, starts in February. I have a book list, which is always exciting! I have my own page on the OU website and have been given provisional dates for submission of assignments - which is a little bit scary! I have even ordered my first book from the list, Dr Faustus with the accompanying York notes - I hope that isn't considered cheating.

It's a long time since I was in education - although I have had the privilege of homeschooling our children - I did an HND at Leeds Polytechnic back in the 80s. Looking at the OU website has shown be that, to paraphrase a certain hillybilly grandaddy, things sure have changed in education. So, I have spent the last few days reading up on Active Learning, Reflective Learning, Critical Thinking/Reading/Writing and all those other buzzy sounding activities involved in broadening one's mind these days. I have made myself some notes and am ready for a trial run. One of the things I found, as an aide de memoire, is SQ3R -

• Skim
• Question
• Read
• Review
• Remember

So, my plan for today is to use the things I have learned over the last few days and apply them to one of the books I am currently reading The Indestructible Book the blurb for this book says

From Moses to modern Bible societies, The Indestructible Book tells the impact of one book on the human race. The book connects the Bible's story to the larger human drama, a story of courageous men and women, the spread of learning, and the technological and social revolution that started with the printing press.

It seems to me that this book may well be extremely relevant to my first module and that it is a good place to start my new journey - and let's face it, more knowledge about the Greatest Book ever written is never a bad thing.

 So, here I go, another new stage of my life.

*waves goodbye*

A Guilty Secret...

Well, the clocks have gone back, the nights are drawing in, Christmas adverts are on the telly, pantomime season is almost upon us and, best of all, the new series of I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here started tonight! I don't watch reality shows - well, unless Strictly counts, I quite like that. But IACGMOOH is up there in my top five TV programmes, it is silly, squirmingly embarrassing and, no doubt, a little bit sad. But I love it! Ant and Dec make the whole thing compulsive viewing - I love their bewilderment when the celebs are shocked by what is expected of them.

As I expected the girl out of Coronation Street and the Tory MP were chosen by the public for the first trial (I never vote - who can afford to spend that kind of money!). So that will be something to look forward to tomorrow night.

My views in relation to the sitting MP who has chosen to abandon her constituency and Westminster in order to present her opinions to an audience of 16 million (she thinks! ha!) are that she should be sacked - it certainly seems as if her constituency will deselect her and so they should. Don't these immensely privileged people ever learn? And this particular MP doesn't appear to be particularly endearing either. Unlike the girl from The Pussycat Dolls and Colin who used to be Dr. Who.

So, there it is, my guilty secret, I quite like trashy TV! Good job my new Open University Degree course doesn't start until February. Yes dear reader - I have finally, after years of procrastination, signed up to do an Open Degree - my first module will be Arts Past and Present - my real area of interest is in culture and religion, I think the choice of an Open Degree will mean I am able to pursue that interest in later modules. I ordered some set books yesterday - Dr Faustus by Marlowe, and the York notes to help me out! It's a long time since I was in education so I am slightly anxious about whether I will be able to cope - I am beginning some preparation by learning all about Active Learning and Critical Thinking. Tomorrow I am going to have a go at mind maps - I have no idea how that will work, but I have a book about the history of the bible which I think will be suited to mind mapping and note taking.

So. watch this space!

*waves goodbye*

At the going down of the sun

And in the morning. We will remember them.

Most of us know and love these words, capturing as they do the gratitude of a nation. I was only familiar with the refrain, I looked it up today - the internet is a marvelous tool for this kind of thing. The story  behind the poem and its author is, as so often, very interesting - I don't know who I thought was the author, it seems that many of us attribute the words to Churchill, however, the poet is a man named Robert Binyon, from Lancaster and the poem was written in 1914 - so, a World War One poem.

This is something else that is interesting to me - the amount of poetry written during WW1 is quite extraordinary. One of my particular favourites is Anthem for Doomed Youth by Wilfred Owen, a young man killed shortly before the end of the hostilities.

Anthem for Doomed Youth

What passing-bells for these who die as cattle?
Only the monstrous anger of the guns.
Only the stuttering rifles' rapid rattle
Can patter out their hasty orisons.
No mockeries now for them; no prayers nor bells,
Nor any voice of mourning save the choirs, -
The shrill, demented choirs of wailing shells;
And bugles calling for them from sad shires.
What candles may be held to speed them all?
Not in the hands of boys, but in their eyes
Shall shine the holy glimmers of goodbyes.
The pallor of girls' brows shall be their pall;
Their flowers the tenderness of patient minds,
And each slow dusk a drawing down of blinds.

The despair and futility of the war is clearly illustrated in this poem from the point of view of those who fight and those who mourn. The careful use of onomatopoeia as well as images that were familiar to the reader does, for me, add to the poignancy of the poem.

I am not aware of any poetry being used as a means of expression by those involved with more recent conflicts - perhaps I am wrong. Is this due to a decrease in popularity of poetry in general? I'm not sure. Perhaps we no longer see the benefit of using the arts, such as writing, drawing, painting, as an outlet for our emotions any longer. Perhaps the plethora of wonderful poetry we have in our history is declining in direct proportion to the decline of our famous 'stiff upper lip'. It seems that we are increasingly prepared, as a nation, to wear our heart on our sleeve. No grief or emotion is considered worthy of dignity or privacy - letting it all out may well be the 21st century equivalent of great art. That, surely, is a great loss and something to be considered even on this most sombre of days when we remember those that have paid the ultimate sacrifice and who continue to serve in order that we are free to express ourselves in whatever manner we choose.

Of course we should also remember The One who gave His life in order that we may know eternal life -

John 15:13 Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.

A Rant

It seems to me that a blog is always a good place for a rant, and this morning I feel particularly 'ranty' - yes, yes, I know that's not even a word. I did look elsewhere to say my piece - but the relevant news websites are 'not accepting comments for legal reasons'.

The source of my anger and irritation can be seen here on the BBC or here on the Daily Mail online site. It is likely that you will know the story - how Newsnight broke the 'news' that senior Tory politicians were involved in a child abuse scandal dating back many years. Apparently one individual had named one particular politician whose name and reputation was then bandied around and sullied all over the internet.

There are a number of things about this incident which trouble me - not least the difficulties posed by internet non-regulation. However, the subject of my rant today is something close to my heart - namely BBC bias. Most normal individuals recognise that the BBC is a left-wing organisation. It is safe to say that their love of all things liberal and left wing is plain to see in much of their programming -as is their anti-christian agenda and hatred of Lady Thatcher. However this latest incident, to my mind, shows just how bad this bias has become. In light of the fact that the BBC withheld, for many years seemingly, the overwhelming evidence regarding the activities of Jimmy Saville, one of their own, their speed at broadcasting this latest item must surely be considered to be a result of their anti-Tory agenda. When the programme first aired I remarked to myself anyone who was listening, that there was no way this item would have been given such prominence so quickly if it hadn't been about Tory politicians during the Thatcher era.

Sadly I have been proved right - the BBC published and aired with no proof and a man's reputation has been shattered - probably irreparably.

I am not fond of the compensation climate we currently live in - on this occasion however I hope Lord McAlpine does sue the BBC and that, within that organisation, heads will roll.

About UFO's...............

Which in my case stands for UnFinished prOjects.

Since before our Lovely Daughter was born I have been creating a scrap quilt for her. It will look something like this

This isn't my quilt but rather an image of one I found on another blog I follow. The pattern is called 'tumbling blocks' - my dark diamonds are at the top, although I suppose if I turn the quilt around........

Anyway, I digress, as is my wont, my scrap quilt is still unfinished, and our daughter is now almost 21 and recently married :0

So, I thought I should make a real effort to finish the quilt before I embark on a wedding sampler for the happy couple (see previous post for an image of that I think). But, before I start another cross-stitch I should surely finish the one I am already working on.............a birth sampler for my 18 month old nephew. Then there are the projects on my waiting list, and a Buscilla Felt project for Christmas - last year I made a car, I have a gingerbread house for this year and if I want to finish it I really should make a start. Procrastination is my problem, my biggest fault in fact. Before I know what has happened I will have wasted a day doing not very much. This is something I would like to change. I must change. Wasting time is a terrible thing I think.

But.

Ahh, I hear you cry dear reader, there is always a 'but' - and it's true, there often is. and my 'but' is this - what defines a waste of time? My guess is that what one person considers to be a waste of time another will consider to be time well spent.

For example. When on holiday (or indeed in every day life but I do have other things to do!!) one of my most favourite things is to sit in the shade and read a good book. I have spent many happy hours with our children and my mother in law sat in BebekPark, Istanbul

Me reading, my mother in law crocheting, the children swimming and catching fish (and in our son's case refusing cigarettes from well meaning local boys). For me time spent reading is never time wasted - reading is one of the greatest pleasures in life. But for my own mum a whole day reading - even on holiday - would be considered a waste of a day. She likes to be out and about, up and doing. So I wonder what other people consider to be time-wasting? Housework? - must be, the dust always comes back!!

Anyway, I have diamonds to stitch and fabric to find - I need some more scraps to complete the front, not too many I don't think. I have tried to follow the tradition of scrap quilting and used mostly odds and ends snaffled from my very crafty mum. Perhaps I will take a picture of the work so far.....

ho-hum

Well, it's a very long time since I blogged. but lately I have been churning a lot of stuff over in my head, and sometimes it helps to churn it out. I do journal which I like. But blogging is different somehow. I don't know how. It just is. So I wonder where I should start.
These are my options....

• My relationship with food.
• My relationship with myself.
• My new role as a mother-in-law
• My other new role as the parent of two grown-up and gainfully employed young people.
• My role as the wife of a wonderful husband who is currently unemployed and struggling with stuff that I can't really claim to understand.

Or Most Importantly......

• My relationship with the LORD.

Of course that is the place to start, if that relationship is at is should be then the other stuff falls into place and doesn't seem as important or overwhelming. So, and please keep this to yourself - I haven't actually said this out loud before - so this information is just between me and you, I am backslidden in my walk with the LORD. Huh. Well the sky hasn't fallen in. That's a relief. Why am I cold-hearted and walking afar off? Who knows. Well. I have some ideas.

• Unremitting financial worries culminating in being ripped off to the tune of 40k by family members. We now live literally hand to mouth and if it wasn't for the kids we would be homeless by now.
• Ill health, which excarbates the apathy I feel towards everything these days.
• People who I thought were friends turning out to be anything but and who, in fact, made life very difficult for our lovely daughter whilst she was away from home at college. These people are supposed to be Christians too, one is a ministers wife!!!!
• Estrangement from family members whom I have tried to be a good witness to and discovering that in fact they have disliked me for 26 years. Wonderful!
• Feeling like a failure and feeling sorry for myself.

Well, recently I spent some time with a very dear aunt of mine. She was, and has always been, so kind and patient, generous to a fault, understanding, sympathetic, I could go on, she really is a wonderful person. And i realised something - I would rather have my burdens than hers - she lost her beloved husband very, very suddenly just over a year ago. It was devastating for the whole family, my aunt has taken it very badly and is really struggling.

So, it seems to me, that I should just get over myself and pull myself together. Blogging might be the way forward.

Someone shared this on facebook the other day http://scripturetyper.com I tried it out and it is pretty cool. I am really hopeless at memorising so I am really hoping it will help me to hide His word in my heart that I might not sin against Him.

So that's it. For today. Let's see if I can get back tomorrow.

Gossip.....

i guess i am like most people, interested in gossipy bits and pieces, the minutaie of people's lives, but, my general rule is - don't say anything about anyone that you wouldn't say to their face, also, dont say anything about anyone that you don't want repeating by someone else. if you see what i mean. the bible says that we should have a guard on our lips - Psalm 141:3 Set a watch, O LORD, before my mouth; keep the door of my lips. and actually the psalms are full of warnings about lying lips and deceitful tongues, i am guessing that when we gossip we are probably guilty of lying - white lies in the eyes of the world. simply because we want people to listen to our stories and take notice of what we are saying, and so we may embellish and exaggerate. the book of James also has quite a bit to say about the tongue, i am not doing a bible study here, i haven't even studied it out properly, these are just random thoughts from the top of my head, but, in James 3:5-10 we read - Even so the tongue is a little member, and boasteth great things. Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindleth! And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity: so is the tongue among our members, that it defileth the whole body, and setteth on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire of hell. For every kind of beasts, and of birds, and of serpents, and of things in the sea, is tamed, and hath been tamed of mankind: But the tongue can no man tame; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison. Therewith bless we God, even the Father; and therewith curse we men, which are made after the similitude of God. Out of the same mouth proceedeth blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not so to be.

WOW!! what amazing and convicting words. these, together with Matthew 5:37 But let your communication be, Yea, yea; Nay, nay: for whatsoever is more than these cometh of evil. should surely make all christians think carefully about the words they use. i suppose we have all experienced the hurt caused by careless words.

which brings me to my point !

our Lovely Daughter goes to college in Northern Ireland, this is, i suppose, the most Christian part of the UK these days. people in the provence still send their children to sunday school, know about God's laws and moral standards, they know what it means to be saved - and they know that once someone is saved they start 'good living'. church attendance is high. however what we have discovered in the last 18 months is that it is also a hotbed of gossip and judgement. some of it very unpleasant. very sad. it's almost as if many christians are so focussed on 'good living' that they forget the LORD looks upon the heart and not the outside. My Lovely Daughter looks after my ipod for me, she put this song on there, i can't find the sung version online, these are the words, i would love to send a copy to every church in the country.............

Please Do It On Your Knees
Well, I hear people who are talkin'
about people most everywhere I go----
To hear them tell it they were there when it
happened, there's nothin' that they don't know.
Well, you may not approve of the things I do
but if you're gonna talk about me,
make sure what you're sayin' is done while
you're prayin'---and please do it on your knees.

The Book says brothers will love one another
but love doesn't need any words.
It's proven by the things we do and not say --
for actions speak louder than words.
There will always be people who will talk about people
but if you're gonna talk about me,
then tell it to Someone who can do somethin' about it
and please do it on your knees.

You can tell the Lord all the things I've done
that didn't seem right to you,
but don't tell your neighbor 'cause
he can never give me the grace to see me through.
You can tell Him all about how weak I am
and pray that He'll strengthen me--
you can talk about me any time you wanna
but please do it on your knees.
~Unknown~

just something to think about next time the temptation to gossip overcomes us all.

supermarkets and a red letter day

so, i noticed from much earlier posts that i have complained about supermarket shopping in past days, for various reasons - the fact that tesco's are trying to take over the world, that shopping there takes up so much time and is so expensive - impulse buys are every mum's worst nightmare. anyway, today, after much procrastinating, i did my first ever internet shop!! i used Asda since i am pretty sure they are much cheaper than tesco. with meric at work, menekse at college and my husband living elsewhere shopping had become a bit of an issue. the thought of going to a huge supermarket in the huge city we now live in makes me want to throw up. meric is very good at picking stuff up, but, he works and trains, so, i finally had the funds in the bank to do it and took the plunge. have to say - it was sooooooo easy, and i think i have bought enough stuff to last at least a week, and i am positive i have saved quite a bit of money - just got the stuff on the list. it will be delivered tomorrow evening, let's hope there are no hitches.

look at that, you wait 18 months for a blog post and then 3 come together!

The Ring

this is our lovely daughter's engagement ring, it is very beautiful. her fiancee is a lovely, very godly young man, they met initially in a bookshop in belfast - LD is at bible college in northern ireland, he is currently over here on the mainland but is planning on going back to N.I until the wedding at the end of june. then, DV, they will come back to england. she is so very happy, and excited. due to our, as usual, parlous financial circumstances the wedding is going to be in northern ireland, which is a bit sad, but, sensible, we will do the catering ourselves, she has already made and sent out 'save the date' cards - which seem like an unnecessary faff to me, so i am guessing that invitations will be next on the production line.

Hmmm.

well, here i am, back in the blog sphere. why? i hear you ask. well, dear reader, and i am sure there is only one of you. for various reasons.

• a friend of mine started a blog http://amothersmusings.weebly.com/ and, on reading hers, i remembered how much i enjoyed mine.
• alot has happened in my life in the last couple of years.
• our lovely daughter is getting married.
• our lovely son is now a working man.
• i have developed agoraphobia and am seeing a clinical psychologist.
• i am still saved by the Grace of God.

so, currently i am at home alone for much of the time, i would like to say that i spend the time deep in prayer and study, but that's not true, i am trying to get my reading time back up to what it was pre-motherhood, but, as a result of my mental health issues my concentration seems to be lacking somewhat (not sure that sentence makes sense but you get my drift).

something else i am doing now that our children are grown and i have more time is finishing all my U.F.O's, that's right dear reader, Un-Finished Objects - i suppose it should be projects.

my first one is this
actually our lovely daughter started this, well, she cut out the cardboard at any rate. i am making quite good progress as you can see













on a side note - i wish i could format photos properly, they look rather messy as they are not in a straight line.
anyway, aside from the fact that either the car or santa are running on too much egg nog i am quite pleased with the result, again i have several reasons for this. firstly i did this all on my own - well, apart from cutting out the cardboard. my mum is very crafty, very clever. she is also a bit of a perfectionist, well, she quilts so the piecing does have to be exact, i am not really like that, dont have the patience. nonetheless i think i have done an ok job of this. i have almost finished the bear and then just have the tree to do. i want to finish it because i have two cross-stitch projects i want to get on with (well, that doesn't include one or two that have been going for more years than i care to remember).
the first is this, i haven't actually started this yet, i bought the chart years ago - so long ago that i think it is now out of print, and, because i am such a hoarder, i already have the material and about a third of the threads, the wedding date is july 2nd, sorry, june 32nd.

i like the text from Ruth 1:16 for whither thou goest, I will go; and where thou lodgest, I will lodge: or from Genesis 2:24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. so, i dont know which one i shall use, and i dont suppose i will finish it by the end of june anyway.

the other cross stitch i have is already started, it is a sampler type thing for my Lovely Nephew who is almost a year old and who lives in austrailia, i have met him briefly but sadly did not manage to kidnap him from my sister, this nephew is younger brother to my Lovely Niece who is mentioned elsewhere in my blogsphere. i started this using my own material (belfast linen, 32 count if anyone is actually interested in that!), but am now having second thoughts, mainly because i found a car project that might suit him better.
this is from bothy threads, lovely quirky kits, i planned on putting his name at the top and date of birth at the bottom. but i think i might prefer either one of these, also bothy threads


if i did decide on one of these i dont think i would use the belfast linen, they would probably look better on a white background, but i dont like aida so would have to have a look at what to use. anyway, i will continue with the alphabet sampler for now and see what happens.




well, i have written quite alot today, i think i will close. i did notice, on reading my last entry, that i had a few grumblings about facebook, sad to say, like the rest of the world, i am hooked into it. but, i do think i prefer blogging, but then again i have always enjoyed talking to myself.

7 months.....

is a long time in the blog sphere, not as long as a week in politics maybe.

i have no excuse, well, that's not strictly true, we haven't had any internet at home for several months, i am, even now, using our lovely daughters dongle thingy, we also don't have a decent computer. i am hoping that these things will soon change and i will be more diligent in my jottings.

anyway, by Gods' grace i am still here, still healthy - having recovered from breaking my hand not once but twice in the space of one month! Life is generally good even though money is, as always, tight, just goes to show that money does not bring happiness, peace or contentment, i have all three of those thanks to my Heavenly Father and my salvation. as we come to Easter i suppose it's more natural for most to think about the Crucifixion, well, apart from the children in our children's meeting/sunday school - they think about the eggs, probably alot of people think it's about the eggs. anyway, for me it's about the Resurrection as well as the crucifixion, without the Cross there would be no shed blood, without the Resurrection there would be no victory, how thankful i am that i serve a risen Saviour, He is in the world today, hallelujah, what a Saviour.

i have had my mum with me for a couple of weeks, she had the 'flu, the real flu, not just a bad cold. my sisters were both on holiday in austrailia and one of them was hospitalised! mum is home from her travels in the states until early julyish - she is helping one sister through a painful divorce and the little sister is emigrating to austrailia in a few weeks, which i really great for her - it's something she has always dreamt about doing, but sad for those left behind. i am hoping that my lovely husband will treat us to a new computer with a webcam for when she has gone, to that end i have also created a facebook account, its quite a good way to share photos etc but not necessarily something i approve of. social networking seems to take the place, for many, of real friendships, i also wonder how good something can really be that is so popular and is it a good way for young people to be spending their time, wouldn't they be better serving the Lord and studying the things of God - and when i look at the way some professing christian young people dress, the music they listen to etc etc then i am more and more convinced that for all of us it should be less computer and more bible. i feel a bit of a rant coming on so i think i should stop.

being a christian.........

is sometimes so hard.

i was saved in march 1992, it's been a long, hard and sometimes lonely walk, my husband is a muslim, i left the first church i was in due to charismania and wandered in the wilderness until the Lord brought the church i am currently in - it is a Bible Believing Church, which preaches the Gospel and is separate from the apostasy and compromising churches which are all around us. even this is hard, i love the people there - we are few in number and one of my oldest friends went home to her reward in april after suffering with ovarian cancer, everyone is pretty weird and the fellowship is sometimes lacking but i feel at home there. when my lovely husband said we were moving finding a new church was one of my biggest anxieties, i think i blogged about it earlier, the Lord saw fit to move us 30 miles away for now and so we go back to our home church on sundays, sometimes we take a picnic - petrol is too expensive to go there and back twice in a day, i do the childrens meeting on thursdays so usually miss the bible study.

anyway, i am getting off the point.

its not all about the mountain top experience, much time as a christian is spent in the valley - i don't think we are meant to be on the mountain all the time, it is self indulgent to focus on that - we are built for the valleys, it is these experiences which enable us to deal with the ordinary stuff of every day life - that way we can be in touch with reality and therefore with our fellow man and so be a good witness - the mountain top experience i suppose makes us a more effective witness filling us with joy unspeakable.

i have been struggling alot with my christian walk, i started to keep a journal, i quite enjoy doing it and i thought it might help, i think it does, but my memory is so bad i forget what i have written :-0. i feel as i have been walking 'afar off' - much like Peter - for ages, a couple of years probably, and i don't know why. i know all the stuff in my head - i am sinner saved by grace, i want to be on fire for the Lord, i want to be unafraid and unashamed of the Gospel of Christ, i want to walk the talk - but i don't seem to be like that anymore, i used to be, then i start thinking about it all and start to feel that maybe i am not saved, i end up wracked with doubts - i worry that i will be one of the ones the Lord sends away at the end. when i think that it makes me so sad, i feel like i am dying inside, i want so much to be close to Him, i know that when i read my bible and pray much then i feel so much better - so why am i so easily distracted? God has done SO, SO, much for me, and for my family, especially these last few years, and earlier this year He worked such an incredible miracle of such perfect timing even my Lovely Husband said 'only God could have done this'.

so, why is it that as christians we can put so much effort into doing nothing, wasting time, watching tv, blogging (oops!), work, housework etc etc, but find an hour reading a bible and/or praying too hard? because i am sure i am not the only one. sometimes i think i am so afraid of being out of the Lords will that i don't pray because i am worried i am doing it 'wrong' - which is stupid and probably a lie of the devil, after all the only one who doesn't want me to pray etc. is the devil himself, why give him what he wants? then maybe i think perhaps i am afraid of where God will take me/us - but i know that it is better to be at the centre of Gods will than anywhere else. then i find myself thinking that i have been cold and backslidden for so long that maybe i am too far away from the Lord and there is no going back - but again i guess this is the enemy putting thoughts in my head, i have let my relationship with God wither and die so i have to put it right - and anything worth doing is hard.

i am very aware of my sins and my shortcomings before God and in a weird way i find that comforting - if i wasn't saved i wouldn't care about my sins would i? the rest of the world doesn't - they don't even know or accept they are sinners!! i don't understand why i do the same things over and over again - i come to God confessing the same stuff, asking Him to help me with the same things again and again, when will i ever learn? then i wonder if i am being honest with God - i know He looks at my heart, He sees me as i am and knows me better than i know myself, so am i being honest with myself? i think i am but how do i know? i wonder why i don't get the deep conviction and incredible zeal that i see others have? i want it - at least i think i do, but how do i know i am not fooling myself? if i REALLY wanted it, if God could see that i REALLY want to be zealous and on fire for Him then why doesn't he grant that? so then i am back to thinking i am not saved, round and round i go!!

BUT
i believe the Lord Jesus Christ left the glory of heaven, i believe He came and lived on this sin cursed earth with sinful man, i believe He lived a perfect sinless life and died on the cross, shedding His perfect blood for MY sins, i believe He rose again on the third day and ascended to heaven and i believe He is coming back again in glory to judge the world and i KNOW that the only way to heaven, to eternal life, is by trusting and believing in the shed blood of the Lord Jesus - His blood and His blood alone is sufficient to cleanse me of my sins so that i can know forgiveness from God - and the bible promises that God WILL blot out my sins and put them away as far as the east is from the west - hallelujah what a Saviour, so, by that account then i am truly saved, going home to heaven when i die.

so, why do i feel numb to the Holy Spirit in my life? why do i not feel the presence of the Lord? i can't keep on like this, i NEED and WANT the Lord God to draw me nearer to Him, nearer ever nearer - i want my joy back - the bible says that God will restore the joy of my salvation. you know the worst thing is that there is SO MUCH to pray for and SO MUCH to learn from the bible - and i have so many wonderful books to read, why do i waste so much time?

one of the things that i need to work on is discipline - i am pretty relaxed about stuff generally, and so we don't have much of a routine in our home, that needs to change because i need to have set meal times, part of the problem is finding my own quiet time with the Lord, my Lovely Husband gets up a long time after me and is not a christian, so i can't do my quiet time when he is there - he is working away at present for a bit so i don't have that excuse, i need to set aside a specific time every day to read and pray and go from there.

i know that my life attitude is not one of total dependence on God - i don't know why, fear, anxiety, pride - perhaps i think that the Lord God who is in charge of the universe and who sees the begining from the end doesn't really know what He is doing - which means i am stupid as well as proud and anxious!!

at the end of the day i want to be in the place where there is nothing between me and the Lord God, where i know His presence in my life and where i am totally surrendered to Him and to His will.

watch this space!!

photos of my lovely husband..

this is my husband in our kebab shop, he has sold it now and is currently unemployed, he is not as scary as he looks!!

also erdinc, looking very thoughtful and interesting in black and white, this is in our old house, we lived there for 22 years, moved in more or less straight after we got married. funnily enough i don't really miss the house - the newer one we are renting is much more comfortable. i have a dishwasher!!!! yaaaay!!

It's like a new blog.........

Well, it’s so long since I last blogged properly that I feel as if I am starting again. But, dear reader, before I go any further, don’t be lulled into a false sense of security by the capital letters – I am writing this in word on the lap top whilst watching Meric NOT do his school work. Why is he doing school work when it’s the holidays I hear you cry, well, Meric does very little of anything ever so I try to keep him at it all the time. The great crisis of the moment involves the fact that both our children are due to take SAT 1 in October, the American tests, the Lovely Menekse is very diligent, working hard at her studies, reading ‘good’ books etc. etc, she also now has a McJob and she is walking well with the Lord. Meric, on the other hand, does little more than swim, sleep, eat and watch TV. not necessarily in that order. Of course it is now accepted in academic circles that boys are much more suited to the ‘sudden death’ nature of exams – so who will get the highest score in October? If it’s Meric then Menekse has informed me she will be leaving home, sigh, I am sure she doesn’t mean it, but it does seem quite unfair – Meric sails through everything and is one of those people who always seems to come up smelling of roses; despite, at times, being a thoroughly unpleasant young man. Will it always be like that? Who knows, he is saved – and I believe he is since I had the great blessing and privilege of leading him to the Lord myself, but he is hopelessly backslidden and doesn’t appear to give the things of God a seconds thought. I wonder how long the Lord will allow him to continue in his current condition.

Anyway, I have been wondering what should be my first subject – don’t know why, I always seem to have a lot to say about nothing in particular – and I am sure most of it is pretty dull. I thought I would insert a few photos, these are old ones from a family bbq on the beach – obviously, but we have now moved away from the seaside and are living in a city which is on the river but not the seaside, which is sad, but hey-ho that’s the way it goes.

In this photo we have, (l to r) my youngest sister, my cousins husband, my cousin, my mum and Lovely Niece then me - doing a great job of not looking at the camera!

this was the same day, we are on the beach at a place called Fraisthorpe, it's one of our favourites since it tends to be populated by proper beach people - that is to say the ones who are there rain or shine (or snow, you know it is england after all). you can see the careful placing of the windbreaks - not just for privacy but for practicalites as well, we were bbqing so needed some shelter.

this is my Lovely Niece, she will be 4 in october, my mum is sat behind her. She really is the light of my life, well one of them anyway.

my two lovely girls, our beautiful daughter who is almost 18 and my Lovely Niece, perhaps they are doing a King Canute.
Our Lovely Daugher, Queen of all she surveys!!

On Wednesday night my youngest sister came over from York, we have Liverpool lady staying with us for a few days but my sister had arranged some time ago to come over to go the cinema to see Hancock – we had some free tickets on account of the huge amount of chocolate we eat and the diet coke we drinkMy two Lovely Sisters, Jocelyn, the youngest, on the left, Jacqueline, the middle sister, on the right, at a Robbie Williams concert i think.

So, I checked the internet and Hancock was showing at 7.25 p.m. Menekse was at work so it was the four of us – Erdinc, me, Meric and my little sister. It was hot, hot, hot. When we arrived there was a bit of a queue outside the door, I dropped Erdinc off and went to park, when I got back to them there was an awful lot of hyperventilating and stamping going on, Erdinc was marching around the building muttering under his breath – bless him he gets very stressed about non-important stuff very easily. Anyway, it transpired that Hancock wasn’t showing – because DARK KNIGHT was on in 4 cinemas!! Unbelievable. I mean who changes a cinema listing at the last moment without telling anyone? So, we had to have a conflab, obviously Jocelyn and I didn’t want to go to Dark Knight, plus if we had Menekse might have had to kill us – she was not happy about missing Hancock but would have been incandescent at missing Dark Knight. So, we decided that the guys would go to D.K and we would go to Mamma Mia – I have already seen that once but was up for it again, especially since my mum is in it (lol, only joking, but if you have seen it take note of the Julie Walters character – exactly like my mum, even down to the outfits). So, the guys went into their film, and we booked our seats for the 8.20 showing, the poor girl had no idea what to do with my vouchers so had to get Bald Headed Manager guy, she then booked us in for Dark Knight instead of Mama Mia, eventually she managed to get it right and we got our tickets. We had about 50 minutes to wait, so we went to get a drink. Sat in the bar area for about 40 minutes watching the queue outside getting longer and longer, listening to the announcer saying ‘the 8.20 showing of mamma mia is full now, next available showing 9.20’ – oh, how smug we felt. So we sat with our drinks enjoying the smoke free atmosphere until just gone 8, I wanted ice cream and the toilet so we went downstairs again. Got ice-cream, did the loo, went to screen 1 as per our tickets, screen 1 said that mamma mia started at 9.20 – I was confused, remember I had bought the tickets at approx. 7.15, so I wasn’t worried, looked around and saw Bald Headed Manager guy, ‘excuse me’ says I, ‘screen 1 says mamma mia is on at 9.20’ – ‘as do your tickets’ says BHMg!! My sister immediately said ‘so that’s three mistakes that girl made’ – I was very cross and said, rather loudly ‘you better be kidding me’ ‘oh please don’t shout’ says BHMg ‘it’s too hot, what time did you book?’ – So I told him what had happened and he escorted us to the house seats which were better seats than the ones we had booked anyway!! Nothing is ever straightforward is it? Anyway, the cinema was packed, totally full except for the few emergency house seats – minus the two we were sitting in. and of course it got hotter and hotter as the film went on - thankfully since it was mosly ladies it didn't smell too bad, the guys came out of their film just after us and well, let's just say i don't think many of them know what deodrant does, hummmy to say the least. Suffice to say I really really enjoyed mamma mia, more so perhaps than the first time, the cast look as if they are having such a good time, it’s a real feel good film – leave the cinema feeling hap hap happy!!! Highly recommended, go if you can. The music is great, the cast look as if they are having a great time, it’s very funny and a great way to spend a couple of hours on a wet summer afternoon perhaps.

so, i have some other stuff i want to write about but that's of a more spiritual nature, thought i would do it in a separate entry........