i'm still here......just 17.6.06

well, if anyone was wondering, and i don't suppose they were. i am still here. our pc died, well, it's not actually dead, but it's terminal. something to do with the hard-drive, blah blah something, something, something . we went to the in-laws last weekend, had a lovely time. i took said computer to our nephew as he is knowledgable about all things computer. i wanted him to re-format. when he looked at it he discovered that it would cost almost as much to repair as it would for him to build us a new pc. so that is the route we are taking. the good thing is that he will build it for us and my husband will be able to give him the money when we have it. in the meantime i am using our dd's lap-top which is harder than you think. the typing is a nightmare, i keep catching the pad thingy with my thumb which then, inexplicably, moves things all over the place, very irritating. but i am learning to keep the thumbs up and really shouldn't complain since i feel very blessed to still have internet access. of course it took me several days to set the internet up on said lap-top, and i did come dangerously close, as we all have at some time, to throwing the wretched thing out of the window . but here we are all set up and working.

this weekend i am doing a favour for a friend, i agreed to have her two almost-teenagers overnight. they are twins, a boy and a girl, we know them through swimming. my friend, the mum, has never really left the twins with anyone. she went through a pretty unpleasant divorce sometime ago and is pretty self sufficient. so i felt quite honoured to be asked. the two boys (mine and hers) went into town to a games centre place. its within walking distance. on the way home, at 7.30 p.m., just before swimming training, a group of children started to shout abuse at the boys and also threatened them. our boys told them to go away and leave them alone. at which point a girl tried to punch the boys, our son managed to deflect the punch, but she managed to get my friends lad three times in the eye. to give our boys credit they didn't hit back - having been brought up to know that hitting girls is WRONG WRONG WRONG (sisters excepted obviously, ) meric told me afterwards that she had also spit in his face. what is that? so, it seems that i can not allow him to go out on his own, apparently unaccompanied teenage boys are fair game. i rang the police and reported it since we know where the girl lives and menekse took a photo on her phone. then i took our friend to the hospital as he was complaining of a headache. the mum doesn't know yet, we are meeting up at lunchtime. she will never leave them again!!

after the hospital we went to tesco's to be greeted by the sight of a group of lads kicking the living daylights out of another lad on the floor, whilst being watched by the staff in tesco, including security. so, apparently home is the place to be from around 5 p.m. on friday night.

another friend, also from swimming, had heart surgery this week, replacement of an aortic valve. her daughter is expecting a baby any time now (second baby to second bloke, no permanent partner, she is only 18 but has a very nice council house thanks to making herself deliberately homeless at 16). anyway, i am on the visiting rota for taking the kids to visit mum and am also the birth partner for the daughter which i am quite excited about. now the boy in this family is the youngest, he is almost 18, he doesn't approve of his sisters lifestyly choices, thinks children should be born after marriage, he is quite old fashioned i suppose, and yet, he doesn't have a problem with sex outside marriage, is it me or is that slighly hypocritical?

well, this started off just as a bit of a note to show i am still in the land of the living. it turned into an epistle. and of course i don't have time to sit here. we are going out in about 90 minutes. oh, the length of a football match. which reminds me, why do i have to be english and support a team which always gives us a scare? why can't they just do the business and let us relax instead of putting us through torture for 75 minutes. then yesterday there was argentina, the beautiful game, enough said. a 26 pass build up to the second goal. we can't compete.

I am away...9.6.06

i am visiting my in-laws in leicester, and i am here alone! i left meric at home with his dad and menekse is at an eighteenth birthday party. so i am feeling pretty relaxed and full of very good turkish food.

we have had a very hectic couple of weeks, with trips and visitors galore. and the computer is playing up. i have brought the tower with me in the hope that our nephew can re-format it for me, really we need a new one, but it will have to wait, there are some things that are more important just now.

we went on a protest to the walsingham shrine/procession. the reason we protested is because the procession and mass are both anglican - and the 39 articles of the church of england forbid idolatry and say that the mass is a blasphemous fable, we had a really good day, lots of good opportunities to talk to people, lots of singing, and it was all pretty good natured. menekse had a really good time since some of her friends were there. one of them, from birkenhead, came home with us for the week. on the tuesday we went over to my sisters and had lunch - it was my birthday celebration, we had a chocolate fountain which was delicious, my little sister let us borrow it for a couple of weeks as she is going to south america shortly.

whilst our birkenhead visitor was here we went to the cinema to see The Wild - it was ok, the boys went to x-men 3, which obviously i didn't want to see , The Wild was ok, but very much like madagascar, however, the koala bear, voiced by eddie izzard, in the wild was by far the best character, he was hilariousD - he alone makes the film worthwhile.

merics friend jack has fallen off his quad bike and broken his arm, it involved surgical manipulation and a night in hospital, so that's pretty impressive , apparently. makes me glad we live in town and have no access to a garden or anything.

oh, and we are being taken to court by a cowboy builder . our kitchen floor has been in need of attention for ages, my mum had a good look and erdinc told her the damage was the result of a leak, so we actually were able to claim on our insurance, which was great. the wall was also damaged because of the leak, and the builder measured up for floorboards - which i have everywhere in the house. but when he came to do the job he used cheap composite boards and didn't do the walls, i wasn't happy, obviously, the builder said he can't do plastering, i talked to the insurance company, they said we don't have to pay him until he does it properly. he won't do it, so he is taking us to court. the silly man has also lied in his court papers . so on monday i am going to citizens advice and then we are at court on wednesday so watch this space.

as if i haven't got enough to worry about.

we have also had a visiting minister. that went ok, he has been before. the next one comes on the weekend of the 24th, the same weekend as merics birthday, and a very big gala, which the lovely geoff wants the whole team out at. so thats another hectic weekend. probably my sister and Lovely Niece will be here too.

oh, that reminds me, we had Lovely Niece to stay over last weekend, just for the sunday night. my sister was away at a dance weekend and my brother in law had to get up for work early on monday. we had a lovely time, she eats such incredible stuff. her snack, when we got home from church, consisted of hummus, cheese, tomatoes and crackers. she ate all her veg and rice for lunch but wasn't keen on the goulash.

things are going pretty well at church just now too, we have some new people, the manse has been rented out and the sound system is going to get sorted.

so, all in all its all going ok.

like the rest of the nation i am bored with rooneys foot, i was glad to hear, the other night on radio 4, that something else was at the top of the news chain - the roses are getting watered in the garden at number 10 apparently!! i will be watching the world cup when and if i am around, doesn't look like i will see the england match tomorrow though because we are off to the market. leicester has an incredible fresh produce market which is very very cheap, so i am going to stock up and my sister in law is going to make some of my husbands favourite food for me to take back to sunny yorkshire. btw, its boiling hot here - much hotter than at home where i have a lovely sea breeze to take the edge off the heat.

anyway, must go, i think we are going to play cards - again!!

What if....1.6.06

If Jesus Came To Your House!
If Jesus came to your house to spend a day or two -
If He came unexpectedly, I wonder what you'd do.
Oh, I know you'd give your nicest room to such an honoured guest,
And all the food you'd serve Him would be the very best,
And you would keep assuring Him you're glad to have Him there -
That serving Him in you own home is joy beyond compare.

But - when you saw Him coming, would you meet Him at the door
With arms outstretched in welcome to your heavenly Visitor?
Or would you have to change your clothes before you let Him in?
Or hide some magazines and put the Bible where they'd been?
Would you turn off the radio and hope He hadn't heard?
And wish you hadn't uttered that last, loud, hasty word?

Would you hide your worldly music and put some hymn books out?
Could you let Jesus walk right in, or would you rush about?
And I wonder - if the Saviour spent a day or two with you,
Would you go right on doing the things you always do?
Would you go right on saying the things you always say?
Would life for you continue as it does from day to day?

Would your family conversation keep up its usual pace?
And would you find it hard each meal to say a table grace?
Would you sing the songs you always sing, and read the books you read?
And let Him know the things on which your mind and spirit feed?
Would you take Jesus with you everywhere you'd planned to go?
Or would you, maybe, change your plans for just a day or so?

Would you be glad to have Him meet your very closest friends?
Or would you hope they'd stay away until His visit ends?
Would you be glad to have Him stay forever on and on?
Or would you sigh with great relief when He at last was gone?
It might be interesting to know the things that you would do
If Jesus Christ in person came to spend some time with you!

feeling a bit fed up.....1.6.06

i am still here, just been busy trying to sort various things out, got alot of things to catch up with online but haven't been able to get around to it. i am feeling pretty low and fed up - for no good reason, which makes it worse. then i read this on someones bebo page...

I'm a Christian
When I say "I am a Christian"
I'm not shouting "I'm clean living"
I'm whispering "I was lost
Now I'm found and forgiven."

When I say "I am a Christian"
I don't speak of this pride.
I'm confessing that I stumble
And need Christ to be my guide.

When I say "I am a Christian"
I'm not bragging of success.
I'm admitting I have failed
And need God to clean my mess.

When I say "I am a Christian"
I'm not claiming to be perfect.
My flaws are far too visible
But God believes I'm worth it.

When I say "I am a Christian"
I still feel the sting of pain.
I have my share of heartaches
So I call upon His Name.

When I say "I am a Christian"
I'm not holier than thou.
I'm just a simple sinner
Who received God's grace.. somehow.

that cheered me up, remembering how much the Lord loved ME before i loved Him is enough to cheer anyone up. i found this on the same page, its a bit mawkish, but still...

Tomorrow morning," the surgeon began, "I'll open up your heart..." "You'll find Jesus there," the boy interrupted. The surgeon looked up, annoyed "I'll cut your heart open," he continued, to see how much damage has been done..."
"But when you open up my heart, you'll find Jesus in there," said the boy. The surgeon looked to the parents, who Sat quietly. “When I see how much damage has been done, I'll sew your heart and chest back up, and I'll plan what to do next." "But you'll find Jesus in my heart. The Bible says He lives there. The hymns all say He lives there. You'll find Him in my heart." The surgeon had had enough. "I'll tell you what I'll find in your heart. I'll find damaged muscle, low blood supply, and weakened vessels.

And I'll find out if I can make you well." "You'll find Jesus there too. He lives there." The surgeon left.
The surgeon sat in his office, recording his notes from the surgery, "...damaged aorta, damaged pulmonary vein, widespread muscle degeneration. No hope for transplants, no hope for cure. Therapy: painkillers and bed rest. Prognosis: "
here he paused, "death within one year." He stopped the recorder, but there was more to be said. "Why?" he asked aloud. "Why did You do this? You've put
him here; You've put him in this pain; and You've cursed him to an early death. Why?" The Lord answered and said, "The boy, My lamb, was not meant for your flock for long, for he is a part of My flock, and will forever be.
Here, in My flock, he will feel no pain, and will be comforted as you cannot imagine. His parents will one day join him here, and they will know peace, and
My flock will continue to grow." The surgeon's tears were hot, but his anger was hotter. "You created that
boy, and You created that heart. He'll
be dead in months. Why?"
The Lord answered, "The boy, My lamb, shall return to My flock, for He has Done his duty: I did not put My lamb with your flock to lose him, but to retrieve another lost lamb."
The surgeon wept.. The surgeon sat beside the boy's bed; the boy's parents sat across from him. The boy awoke and whispered, "Did you cut open my heart?"
"Yes," said the surgeon.
"What did you find?" asked
the boy.
"I found Jesus
there," said the surgeon.

my testimony - or how i became a christian, part the first. 17.5.06

it occurred to me some time ago that my reader might be interested to read my testimony, to see how it is that a normal every day gal had her life changed, its pretty long, i might post it in two parts, i will see how it goes, of course you could just read it in two parts dear reader.
i grew up in england, i was christened, confirmed, all the usual things and because england is still a chritian country i thought that was enough, i ama basically a good person, certainly i didn't ever see myself as a sinner - who does? but all that changed in march 1992 when i was saved by the Lord Jesus Christ, since then my walk with the Lord has been long, hard and at times very lonely as i tried so hard to continue in my own way and He graciously brought me back to the path that is His. i have three 'life' texts i suppose they are called...
Isaiah 49:16 Behold, I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands; thy walls are continually before me.
Isaiah 55:11 So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it.
Romans 8:28 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.
so, as a child i was sent to sunday school, because thats what everyone did in those days, this is something i am very thankful for today. i was also taught 'real' relgious education at school. i went to the local church of england sunday school and as a child i wanted to be a nun - this was the first of many spiritual inclinations in my life. at the age of 11 i went to a quaker boarding school, i was very attracted by the quiet spirituality of the meetings there and decided that perhaps i might like to be a quaker. by Gods grace i am something of a procrastinator, something which i can see has actually been a blessing in my life. it was at this boarding school that i started smoking and drinking, i also had my first taste of the occult as we used to play with a ouiji board, we did make contact with something on several occasions and i know now that common grace kept me from harm.
my next port of call was a church of england school attached to york minster, now sadly closed. the RE at that school was at least bible based in those days. in my late teens i changed schools again and became friendly with a group of muslims - and decided, of course, that islam seemed like an attractive way of life!
my own dad had died when i was a girl, i recall my mum and aunties regularly going to visit mediums, clairvoyants, spiritists, they were often given messages that were highly accurate and seemed to be based in fact. this of course all made the new age movement and the occult very attractive to me. by the time i hit my twenties i too was going to fortune tellers, the spiritist church, psychic and new age fairs, generally having an interest and fascination for all things occult. but of course none of these things satisfied me - we sing a hymn now which says 'i tried the broken cisterns Lord but ah the waters failed' (from jermeiah chapter 2). i was left feeling more and more empty and dissatisfied as i searched for something, anything to fill the emptiness within me. i was also very influenced by feminist ideology, intending to be a woman who had it all - career, husband, children and plenty of money. these days i rejoice in my God given role of stay-at-home mum wiht my husband as the head of our home!
whilst doing my a-levels and later at college in leeds i continued to drink and go to nightclubs, coming from a family of big drinkers alcohol attracted me greatly but i am glad to say it never really got hold of me.
in 9185 i met my lovely husband, a turkish muslim. i was still very attracted to islam - the strength of the family unit, the way muslim women are protected and cherished, the lovely feminine modest clothing, all of those things, above all of course i wanted, and still do want, religious family unity (i long to be able to say with joshua - but as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD. (chapter 24). so, for the sake of that unity i seriously considered converting to islam. praise God that i didn't take that final step, thanks to what i had learnt as a child, somehow through all my wanderings in false religion and teachings i had always believed in Jesus even though i didn't KNOW Him, but i found i could not deny Him. don't get me wrong, i didn't belive then in the exclusivity of Christ - i was a many paths to god believer, believing that as long as i was a good person i would be alright, after all wasn't i born in a 'christian' country? for a long time i took great comfort from the fact that my mother in law prayed for us in the mosque in turkiye and my own mum prayed for us in the church here. my husband didn't pressure me to convert and in fact we both agreed that we would bring our children up to know about both religions and that we would let them choose which they would follow - how naive that was and how blessed i am that it didn't massively backfire on me.
when i was pregnant with menekse, as i saw her heartbeat on the ultrasound screen i began to realise there was more to this God thing than i thought. when she was several months old i began to go to an anglican church next door to our home, we were living 35 miles away then and were trying to move house. but the Lord God had other plans for us and ordered our circumstances so that we had to move back here, this was, in hindsight, a remarkable work of grace in the lives of two unbelievers. however at the time i felt bitter and angry - my attitude was 'well, if thats what going to church gets me i won't bother anymore'.
almost 12 months later, back in our home town, unexpectedly pregnant with our second child, really struggling financially, i went to the mother and toddler group at the local anglican church. i met a lovely lady there called sharon, she asked me about what i believed and invited me to church, she said i could sit with her and her family. i had been brought up to believe that church was the House of God and so i should be smartly dressed, quiet and respectful when i went there. so, it was quite a shock to my system when i arrived at this casual anglican church where everyone seemed to be dressed in beach clothes, because i had had so little biblical teaching in my life it was all too easy for me to be seduced by the teachings of this charismatic church. the vicar has a degree in greek and i had been properly brought up to respect vicars, doctors, policemen and teachers, and so i thought this vicar must be right in what he taught simply because he is a man of the cloth - i am glad to report i know better now and am not afraid to say so.
when i first started going to this church it was charismatic in a low-key kind of way which did make me uncomfortable for a while - there was some clapping, and raising of hands, contemporary christian music, tongues, words of prophecy from the congregation, picutres and audible words from God when praying, deliverance ministry for people who had demons of all kinds. all very new age and actually occultic and very very appealing to someone like me. the first time i went to see the vicar privately i remember thinking that he behaved like a clairvoyant i had visited recently - looking into the distance and 'listening' for messages from God. in retrospect i can see how my new age inclinations made me an easy target for the erroneous teachings of this particular church. we were never encouraged to read or study the bible for ourselves and the sermons were basic at best - bible studys tended to be discussion groups rather than a proper in-depth study.
sharon, the lady i had met at mums and toddlers, invited me to her home to do a course introducing christianity - this was actually the pre-cursor to the now world famous alpha course. it was at one of these meetings that i came to know the Lord Jesus Christ as my own and personal Saviour. at the time, due to lack of teaching, i didn't really know what this meant, i didn't really understand about my sinful nature or my need of a Saviour, sometimes, later, i doubted that i had been saved, but as i look back i can see that the Lord quickly began a work of sanctification in my heart. for example, soon after i was saved the Lord brought me under deep conviction about then use of blasphemy in the TV programmes i watched - i was also convicted, throught the reading of Gods word, about the way i spoke. but this happened independently of what was happening at church. i realise now that i was begining to grow in the Lord, but at that time i didn't understand what an incredible thing had happened to me. i didn't understand the significance of Calvary or of the blood. i spent the rest of my time in this church trying my best to 'get' tongues, pictures in my head when i prayed, to hear Gods voice audibly give me words of knowledge or prophesy, i desperately wanted to fit into this church community, i had ministry/counselling to deal with issues i know now were dealt with at the Cross, i had soul ties broken - something i now know is not necessary.
and then toronto hit....

so, after the 'toronto blessing' hit the charismatic anglican church i was attending the stuff happening there got very much worse. people were rolling around the floor laughing and howling like dogs, falling over at the touch of another person, and laying in an almost comatose condition or laughing hysterically for hours at a time. there was i in the middle of it all, desperately wanting to be part of it, desperate to be manifesting all these things like everyone else, believing the lies that were being told, the twisted scripture texts (to this day i have found nothing in the bible to convince me that this kind of thing is right), again i praise God for His restraining hand on me, i was hardly touched by the things that were happening. incidents that had previously been deemed as being due to demonic influences or bad soul ties were suddenly deemed to be as a result of the 'toronto blessing'. the music at this time also changed from being relatively laid back contemporary christian music to being loud, repetitive and hypnotic. the leadership (the vicar et al) told the congregation that the 'toronto blessing' was a move of the Holy Spririt, that it was a time of refreshing from the Lord for His people. thankfully the Lord didn't answer my prayers for 'more Lord' - a common catchphrase amongst charismatics trying to bring down the spirit. but rather the Lord God answered simons prayer - remember sharon, the lady who led me to the Lord, simon is her husband, he asked God to show us HIS way, HIS truth and God answered that prayer by showing me the times of refreshing scripture in context....
Acts 3:19 Repent ye therefore, and be converted, that your sins may be blotted out, when the times of refreshing shall come from the presence of the Lord;
this brought me up short, for there was no repentance, no conversions during this movement, there wasn't even any mention of sin. it was purely a fleshly experience designed to make people feel good - on an emotional and supposedly spiritual high, and also to silence the preaching of the Word - because how could a minister preach the Word whilst he was rolling round the floor howling like a dog? this behaviour, these manifestations, even continued during communion - laughing, jerking, twitching, rolling around whilst communion (the Lords table) was given to all indiscriminately with no warning or teaching regarding its true meaning. a careful study of the Word of God will soon show how seriously God Himself views this.
i followed the Lords leading and left this anglican church immediately. it was one of the hardest things i have ever done in my life - my whole life was there, well, my social life at any rate. i realised some time ago that as i endeavour to live for the Lord instead of for myself then i am more at peace than i have ever been in my whole life. i truly have that peace that passeth understanding, that deep contentment that comes only from walking with the Lord. i am so much happier and more fulfilled as a christian resting and trusting in Him even in the midst of great trials - being a christian is by no means a bed of roses. i actually have NO social life these days, at the anglican church i was busy every day with social activities connected with the church, but i did not know my heavenly
Father as i know Him now. i also now understand better the role of the Holy Spirit - it is not to make me feel better or good in a fleshly way but rather to teach me, to comfort me, to point me to the Lord Jesus and to help to witness and pray for others.
as i left so also did sharon and simon with their two children and another single girl we were friendly with. we spent much time in prayer, study and research. other people had also left in dribs and drabs, some are sadly still not going anywhere having been put off christianity for ever, some, like us, wandered around in the 'wilderness' for a while. all the churches in our town are part of the ecumenical/churches together movement, and almost all of them had sent people to the anglican church to try and 'catch' toronto. out of desperation and for the sake of our children i went to the Gospel Hall, it wasn't too bad, but one week a charismatic pro-toronto preacher came and that was that. so i left and started going to the methodists.
in the midst of my studying - and there was ALOT believe me. i was starting to see something...
*i needed a church that wasn't charismatic
*i needed a church which relied on the bible alone
*i needed a church that was separate from the ecumenical movement and from the world council of churches
*i needed a church that wasn't doing alpha - starting to take off in a big way.
*i needed a church that didn't have women in leadership positions
*i needed a church that was AV - check out John 5 verse 6 in an AV and an NIV and then tell me that the modern versions don't undermine the main doctrines of biblical christianity. when i saw the subtle but important difference between the two versions in this text i binned everything except my AV.
i didn't know it then but the Lord was turning me into a bible believing christian, a reformed believer.

wild turkeys? 17.5.06

no. that's just my little joke!

i was just looking at the bbc webpage when i saw this headline....

'Judge dies in Turkey court attack'

obviously the first thing that comes to ones mind is a judge being attacked by a mad turkey - it could even be bird flu one supposes. alas that scenario is far from the truth....

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/4989034.stm

it seems that the islamic fundamentalists are trying to strengthen their arm in turkiye, a nation which remains steadfastly secular thanks to the work of Ataturk.

a listy........on my anniversary 17.5.06

i like these lists.....i stole this one from somebody who stole it from someone else, meric has read a list about '100 annoying things to do to people' needless to say he is trying them all out on me.

What is the most irritating song you can remember?
that stupid crazy frog thing, or that chicken one - da da da wiggle your bum, you know the one i mean.

What is your current mobile ringtone?
The Imperial March from Star Wars - yes i am a cool mum!!

If you have an ipod. What is the next song that gets played on random shuffle?
i don't have an ipod, i do have an mp3 player, but it doesn't have music on it, only sermons, currently i have some about the Lord Jesus Christ on it - His deity and humanity etc.

Jaffa Cakes. Cake or biscuit?
a biscuit.

What is your favourite from the Roses tin?
the one with mostly chocolate and a nut in the middle, or the one that is a bit like a praline, oh, who am i i kidding, i like them all.

Ever wanted to be in the Red Hand Gang?
No - i don't know what it is.

Whats the last game you played on the PC?
Insaniquarium

Magic Roundabout or Willo the Wisp?
Magic Roundabout.

How would you spend £1 to make it stretch the furthest?
i have got no idea. can i still buy anything for a pound? meric says buy 100 1p sweets, that sounds like a plan!

the himalayas 17.5.06

as i read somewhere today about the new zealander who has just conquered everest with prosthetic legs, what an achievement. my mum crossed the himalayas on her way back from china in 2002, she drove there and back in her camper van with a group of friends (28,000 miles), this is her somewhere in the himalayas

there are alot of lovely photos on the website, of the scenery and architecture, click on the link to silk route club on my list of favourite websites.

thanks to those who sent best wishes for menekses trip to the doc, thankfully she only had to have the blood test - although that is the worst thing as far as menekse is concerned. the doctor doesn't think its anything serious thankfully. i managed to get her straight into the nurse and we did the blood test with no discussion and no stopping, as usual menekse was fine until the nurse approached with the needle, then she lost it, but at least she controlled herself, didn't lash out, and the nurse managed to get the required amount of blood first time, which is a great improvement on when she had to have her appendix out

a blog about a cake...16.5.06

menekse baked today, so, as she baked her cake she did home economics, maths, science, economics and housekeepingD

here is a pic of the cake, brought to us once again by the wonders of mobile technology, its a blueberry cake with cream cheese frosting and its delicious. my sister was going to bake a raspberry and pine nut cake the other day, i asked if it was nice - Lovely Niece ate all the raspberries and so it didn't get made, makes a change from 'who ate all the pies?' i suppose. (there is also a photo on 'new arrival...of the hamster )

i should say that menekse is a very talented cook, she has a natural flair, which i think she gets from my sister, i am a good cook (not that i am bragging or anything), but i am not that adventurous, i tend to follow a recipe for a while and then when i am cooking it confidently i might change something. the only problem is that as with everything she does menekses cooking is very slow!! lol.

oh, we went to the doctor yesterday (monday), she wants to get to the bottom of whatever is the matter with menekse so we have to go back tomorrow with another sample, for a double appointment which will involve the dreaded blood test as well as a couple of other things of a more personal nature. needless to say menekse cried as soon as the words 'blood test' were uttered, she goes all tense and panic stricken, if anyone in the blog-sphere has any tips for needle phobics - beyond deep breathing and visualisation of feathers or kittens, i would be most grateful. i am also at the doctor tomorrow so we will no doubt be there for most of the morning, i am going to cheer menekse up by taking her for lunch and to see mission impossible 3 afterwards.

about our homeschool.......15.5.06

it occurs to me that my reader might think we have not been doing any schooling for some time, life seems so hectic, and it is true, we are rather busy, but rest assured our school life is plodding on, albeit slowly and in some cases reluctantly. menekse is now ensconced back in the school room, in the recess once occupied by a dresser, meric is against one wall, i am against another, we had to get rid of a chair, but other than that it isn't too cramped in here. i am continuing to plan a weeks worth of work at a time for meric and that seems to be working out ok, i have endeavoured to do the same for menekse but she hasn't yet got into the routine of doing a little bit every day. she tends to do alot of one subject in one go and nothing else, a system which doesn't work well, obviously; because she leaves the subjects she doesn't like (currently grammar, history and science) unless i nag and nag and nag. then the children say i nag

i have also organised a reading schedule since reading is one of the subjects neglected by both of them for various reasons, i don't understand why they don't read much, i read ALOT, its my past-time of choice, but i guess its not for everyone. actually my reading is neglected just now because i am still waiting to collect my new specs.

i have alot of email to catch up on, i might try to do that tonight as i am the delivery driver and the children are banned from electronic items due to name calling " class="middle" border="0">

i am now off to make my husband a cup of tea as its time for him to get up. i can't remember if i have mentioned our anniversary - so far the day goes like this, 7 a.m. prayer meeting, 8.30 a.m. doctor, 10.30 a.m. surveryor at our shop, spend the day schooling the children, 7.30 p.m. watch the champions league final. neither of our teams are involved so i am still not quite sure why i have to do this instead of being taken out for a meal to celebrate 20 years of marriage. mind you after last tuesday when we paid a member of staff to work whilst erdinc went to help a couple of friends out and that member of staff gave away £20 worth of food, well, i am not inclined to pay anyone to work, so perhaps i will just be content with a chinese and watching the football in between deliveries.

oh, and galatasaray are the new turkish champions, which means they will be in the champions league next season, which means more torrid tabloid headlines.

must go.

new arrival........15.5.06

don't get excited, its a hamster

the last hamster we had died several years ago on christmas eve. this hamster is designed to replace the horse not quite sure how that will work. menekse has bought it out of her own money and intends for it to sleep in her bedroom, good luck sleeping is all i can say. menekse is , as we speak, putting the cage together, cages today are full of tubes and wheels to make life more interesting for the hamster, not like the cages of yore which were basically just a plastic and wire box with one wheel for excersise. anyway, its a lively little thing and has already been dropped several times in the school room, thankfully we caught it again. here is a photo of said hamster, now named 'chewie', brought to us via the delights of mobile texting....

we had a visit to the on-call doctor yesterday after church. menekse has been suffering with her stomach for over 2 weeks, pain, rumbling, nausea, the usual thing, but it isn't getting any better, her stomach is tender and felt slightly rigid yesterday, well, i watch casualty and er so i know a rigid stomach isn't good, so off we went to the doc. he examined her and said he doesn't think its anything serious, could be IBS (my diagnosis of choice), or possibly a fallopian tube (dr mum julie doesn't think the pain is in the right area for that). anyway, he recommended a visit to our own gp and some investigations, so we are off to the docs at 4 p.m. armed with a sample menekse is slightly anxious because she is needle phobic - really phobic, its not just one of those 'ooh, hate needles' in a silly girly voice. she is fine until the needle comes near her and then loses control - literally, so that should be fun, i don't pander to her because i am a mum and we don't do that, but i do know its a genuine, unreasonable, irrational phobia and it makes life quite difficult at times

personally i think its IBS brought on by the stress associated with all the horse stuff, she was so terribly upset for quite a while, in the meantime i have been to holland and barratt and bought a tonic, some b vitamins and some elderberry (i read somewhere that elderberry is good for post-viral situations etc).

i am supposed to be writing a quiz for tonights childrens meeting and listening to meric reading his grammar lesson out.

a little humour 13.5.06

One afternoon a man came home from work to find total mayhem in his house. His three children were outside, still in their pyjamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn all around the front yard. The door of his wife's car was open, as was the front door to the house. Proceeding into the entry, he found an even bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked over, and the throw rug was wadded against one wall. In the front room the TV was loudly blaring a cartoon channel, and the family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing. In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on the counter, dog food was spilled on the floor, a broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door.

He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of clothes, looking for his wife. He was worried she may be ill, or that something serious had happened. He found her lounging in the bedroom, still curled in the bed in her pyjamas reading a novel. She looked up at him, smiled, and asked how his day went. He looked at her bewildered and asked, "What happened here today?"

She again smiled and answered, "You know every day when you come home from work and ask me what in the world did I do today?" "Yes" was his incredulous reply. She answered, "Well, today I didn't do it.

officiating at the masters 13.5.06

well, after last weeks success in Leeds today i got to be an official at the yorkshire masters open meet.

masters is swimming for older people - so, one of the most amazing announcements of the day was 'the result for the 70 - 74 years age group was......' seriously, these people were swimming 100 m FLY how incredible is that?

it was my first time at this kind of gala, it was just for the one day, my co-judge sharon was supposed to be coming but she is ill with a chest infection as well as waiting for pretty major heart surgery, so i went alone, not something i normally like to do, but it was ok. i spent the morning judging, then we had a nice lunch of fish, chips, mushy peas with plenty of tea followed by a cream cake. in the afternoon i was timekeeping.

i came home wet through, really, really wet i actually had to roll my trouser legs up because they were dripping! the dives were amazing, so was the sight of, well, older people in speedos or full body suits

since i got home i have been meaning to get in the shower, but i keep getting distracted. by bloggers mainly. i had a nice day though and would probably go again, but i don't want to be officiating at galas every week, i need my saturdays to catch up on stuff, plus i was slightly irritated to miss the fa cup - especially as it seems like it was a cracking game, i will have to watch MoTD instead.

anyway, i need to set the video for casualty and get a shower, my hair needs washing too - i am not kidding, i was wet from head to foot, and since its cold today as well i feel a bit chilly still.

more about being grumpy...13.5.06

in the light of my recent complaints and grumbling, as well as some sermons we have heard lately i thought i would continue to think aloud.

firstly let me say how relieved i am to see the grey, overcast, drizzly sky, makes me think of summer " class="middle" border="0">, its also cold, i am even wondering if i should crack open a hot water bottle tonight. we go to an asian (i think its pakistani actually) cash and carry - the guy in there nearly had a heart attack on friday when i told him it was too hot for me, then i gave him the disco version of the rant about the neighbours drinking etc, he was pretty speechless. i actually think they think i am a muslim, which is quite weird really.

which also brings me nicely to my point (if i was a radio dj i would be bragging by now about the neatnes of the link).

my reader knows i am a christian. (well, hopefully, otherwise i am a failure as a christian ).

society has its own views as to what 'being a christian' means - ie, it generally means someone who is an all round good egg, like emily bishop from coronation street (which i now only watch at christmas when i am with my mum but i know she is still in it). you know, being a christian is all about turning the other cheek, not judging anyone, loving everyone and being nice and kind ALL the time, being honest. i guess there are some people who could add stuff like moralistic, anti-abortion, doesn't drink or smoke, etc etc. the list goes on. people who don't believe the bible or perhaps don't even believe in God still think they know how a christian should behave.

so, by being honest about how i feel about the garage and the neighbours is that somehow being a bad christian? i mean, i don't think it does from a biblical point of view - but perhaps from a societal (is that the word?) point of view i should just let the garage behave badly, not complain about the neighbours but just carry on being an all round good egg. and if i do complain does that then put people off being interested in true biblical christianity? i am not talking about religion, i don't do religion, i do faith, well, i go to church because thats what the bible tells us to do, but thats not what makes me a christian. i am not really sure i am making sense.

why is it that i can think it all out clearly in my head but as soon as i want to write it down my thoughts turn to confusion, obviously thats why i will never be a writer.

anyway, i hope my reader doesn't think any less of my lovely Saviour because i have had a grumpy week, after all i am only a sinner saved by grace, and being a christian doesn't mean being a doormat, nor does it mean that all lifes fun has to stop either.

on being a grumpy old woman......10.5.06

i don't particularly like it. i mean, who would choose to be a female victor meldrew? it goes against my nature.

which is why i am cross with the garage - for making me angry and then doing what they should have been doing for 6 weeks.

with the people over the road for causing so much disturbance that its noticeable and irritating.

with myself for letting this stuff bother me - there is alot worse stuff going on around the town/world and actually i have a lovely life and have alot to be thankful for.

but, i think the whole summer thing is just so stressful, everyone seems to be so much more 'in my face' for want of a better expression, i think thats what i don't like, i like my own space, and i find groups of semi-naked, intoxicated people playing loud music intimidating.

does that make me wrong? a wimp? anti-social? all of the above?

who knows.

i think i am also feeling out of sorts because my new glasses are here but i haven't got them yet and i can't read because it makes my head ache too much.

never mind, things can only get better, as they say. tomorrow i get to chase the american embassy up for visas for my mad mum and her equally mad mates currently driving round the andes.

pizza delivery calls.

why i don't like the summer...10.5.06

so, we have had about 4 days of really nice weather.....totally ruined by all the half naked people of many shapes, sizes and skin conditions wandering around the place, all made so much worse today especially by some very very loud music.

now, my regular reader will know that i don't like music that much, i rarely listen to anything, if perchance i feel a musical moment coming on then i choose something christian - NOT i hasten to add contemporary christian music (which reminds me, i must post my testimony). i do like show music - les miserables, phantom, old musical films, but only in their place - ie the theatre or the cab of my mums camper van. our house tends to be quiet, with the occasional hum of the computer, the occasional squawk from the tv and the blah blah from the radio late at night as i listen to the world service.

we live in a terraced street fairly near the town centre, there are alot of bedsits/flats and alot of guest houses, its not posh, its not rough, its somewhere in between. the houses have yards at the front and slightly bigger yards at the back, no gardens, but the beach is 5 minutes walk away.

so, on this the 4 th day of nice weather we have hordes of people sat at the front of their houses, half naked, drinking alcohol and PLAYING MUSIC REALLY LOUDLY

why oh why do these people think i (or any of our other neighbours) want to listen to their horrible horrible music? because its not even that good - its that stuff with the banging beat that just sounds the same for bar after bar going on and on interminably. why are people so inconsiderate? then there are the boy racers with their windows down, driving far too fast, with their particular brand of migraine inducing music pulsating from every orifice.

it seems i am indeed turning into a grumpy old woman , the good news is i get to babysit Lovely Niece on friday, remind me to tell you about the pooh in the garden and the spaghetti hoops, in the meantime i have to go on a delivery. my cup runneth over.

why.......is anger the only answer? 10.5.06

my regular reader will know that i am having ongoing car trouble.

a brief review....

back in january our car failed it mot due to emmissions, we had the work done, it took 4 or 5 weeks and cost £800.

a couple of weeks later the car started to 'miss' again.

i took it back to the garage, it has now been there approximately 6, maybe 7, weeks, i have kept ringing them since they are 'too busy' to keep me informed of the state of play, i have stayed calm, i have remained polite and gentle, i have endeavoured to keep my voice quiet (i am loud when excited ), i have apologised no end of times for bothering them/causing them so much trouble.

the car has been to the toyota garage for diagnosic tests, it sat there for almost 2 weeks and they did nothing.

two weeks ago i was told that the garage in my town was doing one last test on the fuel filter, if that was inconclusive it would go to the main garage 20 miles away the next day...

yesterday, having heard nothing, i rang the main garage, only to be told 'i am having the car sent over tomorrow, they are having no luck over there so they are bringing it here and we are going to look at it.'

i lost it

i was very, very cross, menekse said i was curt but not rude. i apologised before i put the phone down. i told the guy i was angry, fed up, felt like i was being taken for a ride, somebody was lying, you know the kind of thing.

this morning the phone rang.

it was dave from the main garage 20 miles away, the car is there, stripped down, a problem has been identified and the engineers were on their way to deal with it this afternoon.

so, tell me this, why couldn't they have done this 6 weeks ago? why did i have to lose my temper before i got some action? and why does it always seem to be that way.

we are on deliveries, i am going to watch casualty from last saturday. i feel tired and irritable and i am sure it is due, in large part, to the garages shenanigans.

ps menekse just cheered me up, 'what is the square root of a million?' she asked, as if i am going to know that