ho-hum

Well, it's a very long time since I blogged. but lately I have been churning a lot of stuff over in my head, and sometimes it helps to churn it out. I do journal which I like. But blogging is different somehow. I don't know how. It just is. So I wonder where I should start.
These are my options....

• My relationship with food.
• My relationship with myself.
• My new role as a mother-in-law
• My other new role as the parent of two grown-up and gainfully employed young people.
• My role as the wife of a wonderful husband who is currently unemployed and struggling with stuff that I can't really claim to understand.

Or Most Importantly......

• My relationship with the LORD.

Of course that is the place to start, if that relationship is at is should be then the other stuff falls into place and doesn't seem as important or overwhelming. So, and please keep this to yourself - I haven't actually said this out loud before - so this information is just between me and you, I am backslidden in my walk with the LORD. Huh. Well the sky hasn't fallen in. That's a relief. Why am I cold-hearted and walking afar off? Who knows. Well. I have some ideas.

• Unremitting financial worries culminating in being ripped off to the tune of 40k by family members. We now live literally hand to mouth and if it wasn't for the kids we would be homeless by now.
• Ill health, which excarbates the apathy I feel towards everything these days.
• People who I thought were friends turning out to be anything but and who, in fact, made life very difficult for our lovely daughter whilst she was away from home at college. These people are supposed to be Christians too, one is a ministers wife!!!!
• Estrangement from family members whom I have tried to be a good witness to and discovering that in fact they have disliked me for 26 years. Wonderful!
• Feeling like a failure and feeling sorry for myself.

Well, recently I spent some time with a very dear aunt of mine. She was, and has always been, so kind and patient, generous to a fault, understanding, sympathetic, I could go on, she really is a wonderful person. And i realised something - I would rather have my burdens than hers - she lost her beloved husband very, very suddenly just over a year ago. It was devastating for the whole family, my aunt has taken it very badly and is really struggling.

So, it seems to me, that I should just get over myself and pull myself together. Blogging might be the way forward.

Someone shared this on facebook the other day http://scripturetyper.com I tried it out and it is pretty cool. I am really hopeless at memorising so I am really hoping it will help me to hide His word in my heart that I might not sin against Him.

So that's it. For today. Let's see if I can get back tomorrow.